take me home (back to the place where I belong)
by thistableforone
Summary: "Her things start to vanish from her furniture as her baggage gets heavier and, honestly, some pairs of pants and a couple of tees should not bring such a despair." Post 3x12. Kara invited Lena to spend some days with her after what happened and now she's going back to her place.


_Desclaimer: I totally forgot I had this account, so I'll just update my fics here with the ones I posted on Ao3._

_Plus, English is not my first language, please excuse my mistakes._

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**take me home (back to the place where I belong)**

"Are you packing?"

Kara doesn't mean to startle her, but she's been standing against the doorframe for the past minute, just watching her move in her own bedroom, and there's a funny emotion tugging at her chest that makes it impossible for her to stay silent.

She can't bring herself to be sorry when she sees Lena's smile blossom on her lips as soon as she raises her eyes to hers.

"Yes, Kara, I am," she says, folding a sweater and moving to place it in her pack. Lena moves so neatly it's almost un-human and Kara tries to focus on it - on anything, actually - beside the fact that this feels like she's leaving.

She tries to track her breathing, to understand what has just caused the crease in between her brows, but it's not enough. Her things start to vanish from her furniture as her baggage gets heavier and, honestly, some pairs of pants and a couple of tees should not bring such a despair.

It was just a couple of days anyway, they both had known since the beginning. But she had fitted just _ so well _ among her things. _ She's not leaving _ , Kara tells to herself, _ she's just going back to her place _.

She wishes she could offer her to stay longer without sounding mental - the proposal has rolled off her tongue enough times already, but each time it feels like she's one question away from receiving a yes, so she tries again.

And Lena… Lena looks so grateful for her tenacity. The same that convinced her to spend this couple of days here in the first place. Kara would like to go back and swallow any time limit thrown between her pleas.

Maybe she wouldn't be leaving now.

"Kara?" Lena calls softly, just a few steps away from her now, with her head slightly tilted on the side in search of her eyes. There's not the space of the bedroom between them now, nor the bed, and Kara's breathing falters a little, because sometimes it's easy to forget how overwhelming she is for her.

She just hums, focusing on her gaze and muting out her thoughts at best.

"Hey, I… I wanted to thank you," she continues, almost reaching out to touch her. "I really needed this, even if I was so adamant in saying I didn't."

It's all it takes for Kara to realize how foolish she sounds. Lena is present, here and real, and she always is. And by the way she fidgets with her hands it seems they share the same uncertain dread.

"Of course," she whispers, taking her hands in hers and stopping their moving. She catches her eyes before dropping her gaze down as her thumbs start to caress her soft skin. "It did good to me, too."

Maybe it's selfish to say it right now, but she thinks Lena understands by the way her eyes light up and smiles in the soft way she does for her only. She would like to add more, all the things she feels seeing her go, she would like to tell her picking her up from work and coming back to the same place every night was what made her go through her days.

But it sounds too desperate and too clinging and so not _ friendly _.

So she takes a step forward instead and wraps her arms around her waist, hides her face in her locks while Lena returns the embrace with her arms around her neck. It's even harder to keep her words for herself now that she's holding her, now that their breathings sync and she feels like crying.

She tightens her clasp and Lena molds against her front, humming for a moment and making Kara's breath catch. She hopes she knows how much good she's doing for her.

She moves her arms to press her hands between her shoulder blades but she stops when Lena hisses quietly and grows stiff. She feels her arms trying to keep her there but Kara lets her go immediately instead, because she has hugged people too tightly many times and she knows that sounds way too well.

"Oh my, Lena," she tries, taking a step back, covering her mouth with her hands. "I'm so sorry, did I...?"

"No, no, Kara," Lena rushes to reply, following her. "I'm not hurt at all-"

"You just _ whimpered _, Lena," she says. "In pain."

She stops at that, halts her steps and drops her arms; she inhales watching the worry in her eyes and wets her lips before answering.

"It's not you," she admits. "It's just… the tattoo's healing."

Kara visibly relaxes at that, her shoulders lose their stiffness and the way she mouths _ tattoo? _ makes Lena crack a smile. She didn't want her to know about it, actually. She didn't regret it, per se, but it had sounded stupid when she had first thought about it, as it had when she had walked into the store and when the needle was piercing her skin. It still sounds stupid.

It's stupid because it makes her vulnerable and why would she do that to herself?

How can she explain it without being pathetic?

How can she expect someone to understand just how much it means to her?

If it had stayed inside her head she wouldn't have to put it into words.

She looks around, sees the floor mirror a few steps away from her and moves toward it with her eyes tracked on its surface. She watches herself appear slowly, not daring to turn to Kara. She doesn't want to know how she's looking at her.

She finds herself reaching for the hem of her sweater once she's fully in front of it; she uses both her hands to drag it up her right side until she reaches the plastic covering her tingling skin. She holds the fabric under her breast and tilts her head, inspecting the way it decorates her ribcage.

It's childish, she tells herself.

She smiles at her figure and then turns toward Kara, finding her closer than she thought. She had her eyes tracked on the tattoo already and once she can fully see it she closes her mouth and just stares. She lets her, wondering what she's thinking, until Kara raises her gaze to hers and smiles.

"Why?" she asks quietly.

So how does she justify her decision to have _ ohana _written on her side?

She bites her lower lip, trying to find the best answer, but it's uncomfortable to be like this, with her staring right at her, with her hands awkwardly keeping her side exposed. Her eyes can't help but glance at the bed: opening up to her has been so easy these past days when they were lying in the warmth of the comforter, in the darkness of the night.

"Should we sit?" Kara asks, moving her head to be within Lena's eye reach. She doesn't turn towards her, though, she continues nipping at her lip and watching Kara's bed.

"Could we… lie down?"

Kara is already climbing on the mattress before she can even finish the question and despite the nervousness it makes Lena smile again. Kara is nothing but ready to listen in complete silence every time she confesses something and, really, she's the last person she should be wary of.

She lets go of the sweater and follows her. They lie on their backs, with their heads slightly turned to one another and Lena reaches for Kara's hand. She stays silent for a bit, enjoying the way Kara strokes the back of her hand and waits.

"There are two reasons," she says quietly when she feels like she can't keep it to herself anymore. "One is our first movie night. I didn't know what to expect but cartoons were surely not on the list. But then you said Lilo and Stitch was one of your favorite, and you were just so excited."

Kara chuckles beside her and she can't help but turn her head and meet her eyes. They're soft and for a moment she loses sense of time until Kara tightens her clasp on her hand.

"You started crying in the middle of it," she continues. "You said _ I am Stitch _. You didn't say why but by the end I realized that maybe I understood what you meant."

She's the one holding her hand more tightly now, because Kara's grip falters and her breathing gets louder. She has the same troubled expression she had that night and it still hurts Lena to see it like the first time.

"Feeling like you are from another species from the people around you, feeling like no one will ever understand the language you speak or bother to learn enough of it to get what you're trying to say."

Kara nods, and her lip quivers. She tilts her head and Lena mirrors her, their foreheads meet and their eyes close. She feels her nod again, she shifts a little on the bed and grows closer. Lena smiles, feeling a shiver run down her back.

"What's the second?" Kara murmurs.

"The other day, when Alex and Sam were here," she answers. "You were in the kitchen with Sam, and Alex and I were just talking. But then she suddenly stopped and looked at me right in the eye and said _ I'm really glad you're okay, Lena _."

She feels the same surprise every time she thinks about it, even though Kara doesn't say anything. Alex had never showed affection, had never admitted anything so directly to her. They got along, but Lena was sure it was because of Kara: Alex didn't seem like the kind of person to trust someone with her history.

"She got up then and hugged me, and I was so taken aback I didn't return it," she continues. "But she didn't let go and just whispered _ Don't act so surprised, you're family _."

She doesn't dare open her eyes, because she doesn't want to see the way Kara is watching her and because maybe her tears won't fall this time.

"In that moment all I could think of was Stitch saying _ This is my family. I found it all on my own _ ." She wishes she could finish the sentence without her voice breaking but she can't. Her throat burns and she knows she won't be able to stop the tears again. " _ It's little and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good _."

There's a sob quaking her chest and slipping past her lips. _ Still good _, she manages to repeat and Kara turns on her side and uses her free hand to caress her hair.

"I really tried not to break down, but I did. I think you noticed it when you came back, but you didn't say anything."

"I did see it," Kara whispers. "But I knew Alex was taking care of you. She shows care in her ways, and I know them. She was really scared for you if she hugged you."

Lena finally opens her eyes and finds Kara's cristal clear ones staring back, present and open. Her soft strokes in her hair and on her hand make her hum and close them again. She turns on her side as well, their linked arms rest between their bodies and Kara's caresses move down along her back.

She basks in her attention, her senses are dulled and the crying has her spent.

"Can I stay another night?" she now has the courage to whisper.

"Please," Kara begs.


End file.
